How to Talk About Sexual Health

Talk to your healthcare provider
Talk to your partner(s)

Be proactive about speaking up. Your sexual health is worth it.

Not sure how to start the conversation? Depending on your current sexual situation, here are some things you may want to ask:

THE BASICS OF PREVENTION

"How can I best help protect myself from STIs (sexually transmitted infections)/HIV?"
"Are there any prevention medicine options that could help protect against future infections?"

"How do I use a condom? What are the best types for me?"
"Why do I need to use condoms all the time? Doesn't pulling out work?"
"Why do I need to use lube? What type is best to use?"

STIs AND TESTING

"What should I get tested for?"
"How often should I get tested and retested?"
"How are STIs passed? How do I know if I have an STI?"

"What will an STI test be like? Will I need to pee in a cup, will they take blood, or will they need to swab any place (e.g., penis, vagina, butt, and/or mouth)?"
"What do I do if the results are positive? What can I do if the results are negative?"
"I'm worried about confidentiality—are my results private? Will my parents find out? Will my employer find out?"

OPENING UP

"I had sex without a condom recently. What should I do now?"
"What should I do in the future to help protect myself from STIs, including HIV?"

"I’ve only had oral sex with this person I’m seeing, do I still need to worry about HIV?"
"My friend just tested positive for HIV. Is there anything I can do to protect myself?"
"I’m in a relationship with a wonderful person who is living with HIV. They are undetectable, but I’m wondering if there are any preventative steps I can take."
"What is a sexual network? And how does it affect my chances of getting HIV?"

CURIOUS ABOUT PrEP?

"Can you tell me about PrEP?"
"How well does it work to help prevent HIV?"
"What are the different PrEP options available?"

"How do I know if I may benefit from PrEP?"
"I only have sex occasionally. Should I still consider PrEP?"
"Is PrEP for people in committed relationships?"
"What other things can I do in addition to using PrEP medications (condoms and lube, regular testing, and talking to partners, etc.)?"

TALKING WITH YOUR PARTNER(S)

"How do I talk to my partner(s) about sexual health including HIV prevention?"
"How do I ask my partner(s) about their STI and HIV status? How do I tell them my status?"

"I’m in a new relationship and want to talk to my partner about protecting each other. What steps should I take to make sure we are doing this right?"
"My partner and I have an open relationship. What should we do to help prevent an STI like HIV?"
"My partner is living with HIV. How can I talk to them about the importance of HIV treatment and talking to their doctor?"

Whether it’s in person or through telemedicine services, it may feel awkward talking about sex with a healthcare provider.

If your first experience talking to a healthcare provider doesn’t go how you hoped, it’s OK to look for someone else. There are plenty of healthcare providers in the "sea."

Search for healthcare providers near you.

Get info on STIs, prevention, and testing

Talk about what you’re into, including protecting your sexual health.

Speaking openly about topics like your status, testing, and HIV prevention options, like PrEP medications, can help you make the best decisions for your situation. This all starts with consent, meaning you can talk with your partner(s) about what you’re ready for and willing to do sexually—and you can always change your mind at any time.

Ready to talk with your partner(s)? Check out these potential conversation starters:

PREVENTION OPTIONS

"Even though I’m using PrEP, we should still use condoms and lube to help prevent other STIs."
"Knowing that we are seeing other people, I would feel more comfortable if we looked into PrEP."

"We forgot to use a condom last night...We should visit a clinic to get tested and talk to a healthcare provider about our options."

STI TESTING

"I’d really like us to have sex, but I think it’s important we both get tested for STIs first."
"I’ve gotten tested for STIs, have you? I can tell you where I went to get tested and what the process was like, if you want."

"If you want to take the next step, we can get tested for STIs at my clinic or even try at-home tests."

HIV STATUS

"Whether your status is positive or negative, I just want us both to be open and honest about it."
"I’ve been thinking about HIV lately. Do you know your status?"

"I’m open about sharing my positive status and the fact I am on treatment. If you have any questions, I’m happy to answer them."
"We can still have a good time regardless of your HIV status. We just need to be honest with each other and take steps to protect ourselves."

IF YOUR PARTNER HAS HIV

"Having HIV doesn’t mean we can’t have sex; we just need to take the proper precautions."
"I’m cool with your status as long as you’re cool with using condoms."

"I’m really proud of you for taking the proper steps to be on treatment, but I also want to talk about using condoms as well."

IF YOU HAVE HIV

"Even though I’m on treatment, I think it’s a good idea for you to talk to your healthcare provider about PrEP."
"Having HIV doesn’t mean we can’t have sex. I’ve started treatment, but I do still think it is a good idea to use condoms."

"We should talk about exploring options to keep us both healthy."

Get info on STIs, prevention, and testing

Mouths are alsoFor Talking

Be proactive about speaking up. Your sexual health is worth it.

THE BASICS OF PREVENTION

STIs AND TESTING

OPENING UP

CURIOUS ABOUT PrEP?

TALKING WITH YOUR PARTNER(S)

Talk about what you’re into, including protecting your sexual health.

PREVENTION OPTIONS

STI TESTING

HIV STATUS

IF YOUR PARTNER HAS HIV

IF YOU HAVE HIV

getting on PrEP

getting tested